Episode 1: Conversation with Grace Witter

• Show Notes

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Transcript

Ali: I'm super excited to be joined with my guest today, Grace Witter. Grace is the founder of tech sisters, a community dedicated to helping Muslim women feel seen and validated in their tech journeys. She's currently a technical product manager at Patchwork Health and a finalist for the 2022 Muslim Women in Stem Award.

Thank you so much for joining us Grace. I like to give my guests the wheel when it comes to telling their stories, so tell us about your journey.

Grace: Cool, yeah. Thanks Ali for the introduction. So alhamdulillah uh, I think my journey in tech and to how I started Tech Sisters really began when I was a stay-at-home mom and I was looking for ways to work from home. So this is before the pandemic, before everybody worked from home. And I was going through a list of different things to do.

And tech was one, those things on the list. And I taught myself how to code. HTML, CSS, JavaScript. And then I started building up a career based off of that. When I got into Tech Sisters, I had been working in tech as a software engineer for awhile. And I hadn't met any other Muslim women in tech.

I'd go to conferences and you'd see hundreds of people, packed auditoriums. So many people. There's already very few women or people of color there, anyway. And then I would be the only person in that whole conference space wearing a hijab. And I was like, I know there are other Muslim women in tech out there who were not connecting. So I reached out to people online and I validated that this was definitely a thing that a lot of people were feeling and experiencing. We are going through this experience and having this in isolation. It's already a very isolating thing being, so we call it "multiple areas of being the only", so at work or on your team you're the only Muslim, only woman, only mom, only person of color, only person with immigrant parents. So many layers of this, right. And that can be like a very lonely feeling. There's already a lot of imposter syndrome anyway, in tech. And then when he started having that feeling, it kind of gets worse. So there's definitely this need for a community, for people to come together and share stories.

And I looked around and there really wasn't anything that was specifically for Muslim women. There were a couple of other things that were focused on networking. But it was all kind of like the surface level connection. So just to get a job, which is still an important thing, a lot of people need that.

But there's definitely a need for something deeper, for a sisterhood. Where you're coming together and you are really valuing and you're really loving each other for the sake of Allah. You're coming and you're seeing that people don't have to sacrifice their culture. You don't have to sacrifice your religion or your family values to succeed in this career.

You're meeting women who've been working in tech for 20 years and they're wearing hijab and, they're Asian and they have Pakistani parents and there's, it's like, you're just like me, right. And that's the whole point of Tech Sisters is to have that shared sense of identity and community. Alhamdulillah.

Ali: Nice masha'Allah. I think, you know, suhba is so important, especially in this day and age, for like diaspora and the Muslim community in the west where we're a minority, those bonds become really important and we kind of have to rebuild them in a way, whereas a traditional or a fully Muslim culture, a lot of that groundwork maybe is laid down to some extent.

So, I know that like tech sisters has the podcast, but what other kind of work are you doing to create this sense of suhba amongst the sisters who are in tech?

Grace: So that's actually a really timely question because we just kicked off the latest cohort of our mentor-match program. So we do it about every quarter. And it's specifically to pair people who want to be matched with mentors from this community. We've recognized from my membership form that that was one of the main reasons people were joining Tech Sisters, so the first reason was for community, for sisterhood, and then directly after that was having mentors who come from a Muslim woman experience.

Who understand what it's like. So, we have a lot of success with the past cohorts. Alhamdulillah we were able to get people jobs. But one of the main things that people are coming in is that confidence. Just talking to other sisters who've been in, just been in the, been working, you know, for a couple of years.

And just know what it's like and can give you that assurance. Yeah, it's totally fine. Um, yeah. It might seem scary before you get into it, but usually most workplaces are fine. You're not going to have a horrible experience. It'll be okay inshallah. You can do this tech interview. We got it. We believe in you.

Um, so that's a really strong thing that we do for the community. Um, the other stuff. Uh, that we do to build up the bonds. We have, um, game nights where we just kind of just do fun, relaxing things. We do in-person meetups , very infrequently, but that's always really fun when we do that. We had a picnic in London, which was so much fun, alhamdulillah.

There are different questions and discussions that we have on our slack channel. Uh, there's a code gym. We have different channels related to different interests. So if someone is looking for, other sisters working in cybersecurity or in UX or other React developers and they can talk to sisters who are doing work in that area and, um, can meet up.

Ali: Do you have like any, um, your own kind of personal experience where having a level of mentorship having, you know, somebody who's kind of walked in your shoes and maybe now they're like a few steps ahead and like you've benefited from that. Is there any, examples that come to mind?

Grace: Yeah. So there are a lot. Alhamdulillah.

I like to say that pretty much everybody that I've had on the podcast has been a mentor for in at least one way or another, even if it's just in the frame of the episode, but usually I have lots of connections afterwards. Um, I think the one that's most relevant to your question is Arfah Farooq who is one of the co-founders of Muslamic Makers.

I reached out to her very early on when I was thinking about Tech Sisters and immediately she was she's so supportive. Brilliant masha'Allah and, um, so exciting, like seeing her career grow and starting a new family, alhamdulillah. And she has been so helpful. Uh, there's been many times in Tech Sisters where...

So in, in the, the history of the community, there's been like highs and lows, which is very normal for our community. And so there are some times where it feels like... Why am I doing this. This is taking so much time. Uh, and then I'll send her a text and she'll say something very reassuring and she's been there herself, and this is how we get through it. And she'll give me really great advice and I always really appreciate her alhamdulillah.

Ali: Alhamdulillah. That's awesome. I really got to get Arfah on here at some point.

Grace: Yeah, totally. She's great. She's brilliant alhamdulillah.

Ali: So give us kind of an idea of the types of people that you talk to on your podcast.

And then also what's maybe one of your, I know you, it's hard to pick favorites amongst people you're close with, but what's maybe like a favorite interview that you've had.

Grace: So the process has been an organic evolution. Let's say. Um, so I think when I very first was starting out Tech Sisters, I was looking at people who I saw on Twitter. I saw on LinkedIn who were visibly Muslim. And I admired them for what they're posting and then I just kind of cold emailed them like, hey, had this idea, what do you think? Do you want to be on it? And most of the time, everyone has been very, very welcoming and very encouraging to be on there. And they really liked the idea Alhamdulillah. I haven't really had any duds, um, alhamdulillah.

Um, and then what I also do is when people join Tech Sisters, they can choose if they want to be featured on the podcast. And I do that because I really want to feature everybody in this community. So not just somebody who has a really big social media presence. But also people who are doing the work who have been in there. And I've really learned that.

Um,

You can't predict how an interview is going to go. Great. You can have somebody who has a very big following and that interview might be a dud. Not a dud, but, um,

might be a little bit harder.

Yeah.

Even interesting. I feel like there's, there's a certain element that's kind of not there. And then there's somebody who they don't have much of an internet presence. But the wisdom that they're dropping in the interview masha'Allah is, is really sparkling. So you don't know. Allah sends, these people your way, and you just, you talk to them and see what they have and alhamdulillah. That's what you put out there.

The whole purpose of Tech Sisters is to curate these stories. So that there is a wealth and a bank of experience and knowledge for people to come back to and listen.

Ali: Alhamdulillah that's so awesome. And I love that, telling stories for the sake of teaching others and sharing knowledge with others. Sometimes we feel like we are without guides. So we need kind of groups like this. In a way I'm hoping that to some extent, this is what I'm doing here as well. Um, maybe for a more broader, less well-niched audience.

Grace: Yeah, Tech Sisters is super niche.

Ali: Yeah. But alhamdulillah, I think that that tends to work really well, because you kinda know, like specifically which community you're serving and it's easier, probably, to get feedback and figure out what exactly people would benefit most from.

Do you feel like, you've learned something about what it's like mentoring yourself. Because I'm guessing that by now you're probably in a situation where you're not just like receiving mentorship from others, but you've probably also had the experience of, of helping others as well. I mean, you're, you're a parent, so I guess that comes with the territory already, but like, I guess in a-

Grace: But they don't listen to me...

Ali: What's it like giving advice and having that being listen to then.

Grace: Yeah. Okay. So what I've learned from being a mentor. So mentorship is really... I think a lot of people come into mentorship thinking that this is a top down approach, that I'm going to be giving my knowledge down onto you.

Mentorship really shines when it's going up. When the person is really telling you what their challenges are, what their strengths are, even though they're probably not identifying it for themselves, but you can hear it. If you're really listening. And when they're communicating that to you and then the mentor just is quiet and listens and then finds a way to kind of help them figure out their own way.

Instead of kind You know, shoving them in. This is what I did. This is the right way to do it. We had this analogy that they're telling you vaguely what they want at a library, and then you can show them where the shelf is, where the books are.

Because there's always way more mentees who apply than mentors, I sort of have like a, a little group that I do. Of people who are just kind of transitioning or in that first steps, because those are kind of the most common questions that people have. And Alhamdulillah it's really just listening, making the person feel like they're heard and then giving genuinely, you know, your heartfelt advice to that person.

Um,

There's a Hadith. I think and I'm going to misquote it because I, I'm not, I don't have a very good memory for the accuracy of things.

Ali: If we can find it we'll put it in the show notes insha'Allah.

Grace: Insha'Allah.. But it's something like, um. There's three degrees of people who are really loved- and I forget what the first two are, but the last one, the one that's really important, is the person who, when somebody needs help, they remember you and they come to you asking for help. Like that's such a big blessing. Something Allah really loves when people generally seek help from you. And then you're giving that help in a very genuine way. Because you want to help your brother, your sister in Islam to succeed in their deen and their dunya. So. That's mentoring.

Ali: I love that. I think that's, that's really like, it sounds simple, but it's really quite beautiful and quite profound.

Grace: It's a skill.

Ali: It's absolutely a skill and it is also a characteristic of our prophet peace be upon him. Like he, didn't just kind of dole out advice to everybody from on top. He really kind of knew who each person was.

He knew their state and where they were at and then that's when he gave advice according to their state and according to what they needed to reach their next step. Do you feel like everyone needs to have some form of experience mentoring?

And again, this is, this is knowing that mentorship is about listening first and foremost!

Grace: Yeah I kind of starting off with saying, I think more people can do with being better listeners then they think they are.

I think a lot of problems with these are solved with listening. Alhamdulillah. Um, I think that people have this idea of mentorship as something that you can only do when you're a senior or you have X number of years of experience. And that's just not true. You can be a mentor to your peer. You can be a mentor to someone who's just a little bit below you.

The thing that's distinguishing is that you have a slightly different perspective on what they're going through. It's related knowledge. But you know a little bit more or different than what they know. So we have people who are mentoring, uh, like we're putting people who are in their first year, junior developers.

Where I'm mentoring people in bootcamps, and that's a really great pairing. Because the juniors, remember what it's like to get that first job better than a senior does. After a while you kind of forget that stuff.

Um, so yeah, this is something we really try to encourage you. The mentoring might feel like it's like you're not qualified to be a mentor but actually you probably are better qualified than somebody who's very, very experienced.

Ali: I think if there was like a very, I wouldn't even say it was hidden, but just like a profound insight in what you just said, which is that people who are closer to the step that you're taking will oftentimes remember it better. We often think someone with the most age and the most experience will be able to give us what we need, but as we move through life and we go through different stages and different seasons, our focus changes. Anybody right now can do this exercise and think about what it was like while they were in school.

Grace: Yeah, definitely.

Ali: And try to remember.

Grace: Or even like with motherhood, because that's such a visceral memory, right. But your friend who just had a baby is going to give you much more relevant advice than your mother or your aunties, because they're remembering it from a long time ago. Right.

And that friend. It's still like in the pain.

Ali: Yeah.

You know, I think there's definitely benefit in both, but I think that is something important to keep in mind. And I think it's in our tradition too, which is that when you're seeking advice and when you're seeking knowledge, you really need to seek out the people who are best able to help you.

It doesn't mean necessarily that others are not willing to, or are somehow deficient in some way and that they can't help you, but you really need to ask the right person and get a sense for that. So I think that's, I think that's great too, because I think what, uh, you guys are doing now at Tech Sisters is you're kind of creating a forum for people to be able to find the right person at the right stage. Um, and I think that's pretty awesome.

Grace: Alhamdulillah. And it's not just one person. It's good to ask a group of relevant people so that you have a diverse range of opinions to choose from. And you do your istikhara as well on top of that. Right? So there's always that balance of guidance, you get a full spectrum to help you insha'Allah.

Ali: I use the term "institution building" at Building with Barakah very loosely, because I really want to kind of envelop a lot of efforts that people are doing. It's not just for-profit or even necessarily nonprofit.

But I do feel like there are certain common themes, like when it comes to building an organization and managing people and process. What have been your learnings there? Have you ever been surprised by some of the things you've had to do as you've been building out tech sisters, along with your team?

Grace: Yes, definitely. I very naively thought with Tech Sisters that I would build it and then the community would come and then they'll be super engaged automatically. And I could just be hands-off.

Uh, and so that

Ali: This feels like a warning.

Grace: Um, and because I didn't have an idea of needing a team. At the beginning, I thought this is something that was going to be self-managed and people would kind of just show up. It ended up that the first year and a half. I was doing almost everything by myself in my nights and weekends.

Um, alhamdulillah. But a lot of what you see with Tech Sisters now was almost a solo project. Which was definitely not sustainable, not scalable. And it was, I mentioned before the highs and lows. And that was one of the big reasons for the lows in the community. Cause I would put a lot of work into doing the interviews, writing newsletters, setting all this stuff up and I put stuff out there and I'd have a couple of people who are really engaged, who are sort of engaged. Um, a lot of times it was so quiet on the Slack. And I often felt like, why am I doing this?

Friends family be like, why are you still doing this? Alhamdulillah. And then every time that would happen and I would sort of reach a point like, ah, okay, that's it. I'm just going to do, um, this is the end. I'm going to start wrapping it up. Then I started getting messages and DMs from sisters saying I searched for Tech Sisters for something like this for seven years.

This is the very first time I've seen something It routinely, it would come in. As soon as I saw I've made up my mind. And subhanAllah, I think that was like a really clear message, that this is something that has barakah in it and this is something that should continue. Um, But it was also something that I needed to find a different way of working on it.

So last year we did our community health report which was really useful because it gave us lots of data on how things were performing and how many people wanted to get involved, but felt like they couldn't and gave us more insights into the things that were holding them back. Why they weren't engaging on the Slack channel as much.

And so that gave me the buy-in from the community to really start in a very actionable way, of focus on community engagement. So we put together an advisory board with people who were super engaged with Tech Sisters Sadia and Marwa are some of like our OPs. Mashallah, they are so, so, so helpful and very, very knowledgeable.

And so they give me really great advice. And then we have an admin team. So before I was doing the podcasts all by myself, and now I have Baysa, who's helping me put together the interviews and helping me do the editing. We've invested in tools like descript to make the editing much, much easier.

We put together some automations to make the onboarding lot smoother. There is an onboarding process now, there didn't use to be. Alhamdulillah there's a community manager. There's somebody helping me out on social media, because that was always a really big weakness. Because I just didn't have any time. So the biggest lesson that I've had with Tech Sisters as a community building thing is that.

It has to be. You started, but then to scale it up, you can't scale it with one person. Right. You have to have it. You have to have a team. You have to have a team. Alhamdulillah. And that team...

are there in the community because they like the community, but there has to be a system and place for them to feel like they can contribute. One of the lessons I've had before was when I would ask for help before I had the team in place it was interpreted more as they were doing me a favor.

And so there wasn't like this buy-in or ownership of the work that they were doing. But then having that team, I'm part of the advisory board where right now I'm the assistant podcast editor. Now they have ownership of the tasks and that can just take a lot of weight off of me. Alhamdulillah.

Ali: Is everybody kind of working right now as like still a volunteer basis? Are you hoping to...

Grace: Yeah, so. We've also been very explicit that Tech Sisters is a sadaqah jariyah (continuous charity) for all of us who are involved in it. It's never going to be something that will be like a profit generating thing. But insha'Allah, our hope is that it'll be something that is self sustaining and self maintained. So it won't need direct influence from me.

It will be able to take care of itself eventually. And that's, that will be our hope insha'Allah.

Ali: Yeah. Insha'Allah. So are you thinking, uh, of ever going like the nonprofit route as well or no?

Grace: I think maybe when we start getting to it, that's for the advisory board, Ali.

Ali:

Fair enough. Maybe we can add them to the interview.

Grace: Yeah.

Yeah. There's a reason why I need to outsource brains on that one. I just can't.

Ali: Alhamdulillah.

Grace: Alhamdulillah.

Ali: So as far as the organization as it is now, I've gotten a sense that it's been going on for, it was something like two or two or more years?

Grace: Yeah. So it's started in 2019. three years now alhamdulillah.

Ali: Oh, mashallah. Nice. So now we kind of- there's like a team, there's an advisory board. You guys are doing the mentorship program. What's kind of the next milestone that you're aiming for?

Grace: So the most immediate next milestone is our next community report. So that's where we'll get all the data to compare from the last one to see how our objectives um, you know, how successful we were and what we wanted to achieve. So we already have benchmarks every quarter. But that's going to be kind of like a nice thing that we can publish and put out there.

And Alhamdulillah that feels like a very cathartic thing to put that report together. So that'll be good. The next big milestone that we want to do is more events, workshops, training sessions. We have lots of sisters in the group who have talents in many different areas in tech and want to help spread their knowledge. So we wanted to put that together and sort of facilitate that. It's not something that we really had bandwidth for before. But now that we have a lot of stuff more automated and smooth insha'Allah that'll be better.

Ali: Inshallah.

Grace: Yeah.

And collaborations with other groups. So like Building with Baraka, like alhamdulillah, that'd be awesome.

Ali: I'm ready. I'm so ready.

No really because in traditional Islamic societies, we had like guilds even, and those guilds, they weren't just vocational. There was like a spiritual dimension to it as well. Not only like you'd be part of the tailor's guild and then you'd set up shop in the same area. And then at the end of the day, you'd go home and you'd be in the same, like the zawiyah or, you know what I mean? Like you're, you're, you're, this is like a real kind of community in a real kind of brotherhood and sisterhood.

And I think that what Tech Sisters has already done is beautiful. I have a question that's itching at me. It's a very brass tacks kind of question.

Grace: Go ahead.

Ali: But the research you do for the community, like for that community report, how do you go about getting it and how do you go about getting your community to engage with it because I feel like sometimes people do try these things in different ways and surveys. I may or may not be talking about myself here. But.

Grace: Yeah. Th. This feels like a loaded question here.

So I have a lot of detailed resources that I would be happy to share with you directly. And notes because it took a while to build this up. So we have a giant survey. One of the, one of the hard parts was to have the survey detailed enough that it gave us good insights, but also so that people could actually finish it. Right. Alhamdulillah, I had a great UX researcher help me write it, and she has lots of experience with surveys. So we have lots of little things in there to kind of help you and encourage you and know that the end is near on the survey and it's not this endless stream of questions. We set the stage. By sending it out in the newsletter that it's coming, we're doing this thing. These are the reasons. Then we put the form out. We have it opened for a month. And in that time, there are a couple of generated campaigns in the newsletter. Not so much on social media because we want it to be within the community, but there's lots of Slack reminders. I keep track of the people who respond. I have this big Notion. Everything that I do is on Notion for Tech Sisters.

Uh, this is a big joke with anyone who knows me that I do everything on Notion.

Ali: People are going to be making that joke about me soon enough.

Grace: Yeah. Yeah, I saw your, your setup alhamdulillah. Um, Right. So I keep track of who responded. I send nudges as DMs. Sometimes LinkedIn messages. So there's lots of little nudgings, but it's all kind of planned out. So it's not too much. We have a goal for how many people we want to have responding so that we have a good sample size. Um, which is also in the realm of realism. And then we spend some time going through the data and looking at the comparisons. I make the report in Canva. Alhamdulillah so nice and free and, uh. Yeah.

The main things that we're looking for in the survey is we want to see their overall satisfaction with the community. If the needs that they identified when they join, do they feel like it's being met? Why or why not? Uh, would they recommend Tech Sisters? Why or why not, et cetera. And then drilling it down for each of the programs that they're participating in. So do you like the podcast? Why do you like it? Would you recommend it? Do you like the mentoring program? How did you benefit from it? What can we do better? Do you want to volunteer? Do you want to contribute? What's kind of holding you back from that? So going in through all these questions and really thinking about how can we get better.

Ali: Wow, that's very in-depth and very thorough. And I can, I can already see like the UX input there.

Grace: Yeah. So you started with one thing and then you'll have to answer about 20 different questions about all these.

Ali: But, uh, it's it's good. Cause it does. It holds you into account and you can see why like it's its own it's its own body of work.

Grace: It's important. Yeah.

Ali: Cool. All right. So is there something that you feel like you don't know that you should know, something that you're looking to build more knowledge in.

Grace: So I think one of my weaknesses that I am actively trying to get better at is, I don't have a lot of... Um, all of my work experience has been very low abstraction. You get a task that's sent to you, you do the task. This is a very engineering thing. You fill out the ticket, you solve the bug. I don't have a lot of experience thinking of that high business-level strategy. Um, making partnerships. I feel sick every time somebody comes and asks for a partnership because I go I don't know what to do!! Is this part of our strategy or not? I don't know!!!

Alhamdulillah.

Ali: But it sounds like you're getting some of that experience with Tech Sisters now.

Grace: This is exactly the point. So this is something that I'm actively getting better at. The advisory group has been a huge help with this. Um, mostly they're being like Grace, breathe. Um, you don't have to-

you don't have to say yes to everything. Alhamdulillah.

Um, but yeah that is something that I really want to do better at. I feel like I spent, and I think it kind of echoes in my transition from a developer to a product manager, I do have this interest in the impact of the things that I build. On the people that use it on the teams that build it. I always want to do something that has a really positive impact on people. And I am really trying to develop my skillset into that business side, that abstraction, that high-level strategy side of things insha'Allah.

Ali: I think we are coming close to time. So insha'Allah, I'm going to ask if, one, if you have any du'as that you'd like to request before we end off.

Grace: Um, yeah, actually, so my sister just had a baby this weekend. And it was a rough experience. So insha'Allah like some du'as for her and for the baby to be healthy and happy insha'Allah.

Ali: Inshallah. And then is there anybody you wish to express some gratitude towards right now? I like to end the podcast with that question.

Grace: I do that too.

Ali: Oh

Grace: That's my last question as well. Alhamdulillah. So it's funny because every time I hear it, I always kind of think of what I would say. So first to all of the Tech Sisters. All of the members who come and are united around that purpose. Alhamdulillah there's so much energy and so much love every time that we talked to each other, even if it's like a very silly question. Um, And you're sharing memes and stuff like that. There is a real, genuine friendship and sisterhood and alhamdulillah, I really love these sisters for the sake of Allah. And there are a couple of them who have just been absolute rocks for me so alhamdulillah and they know who they are. I'm so grateful for them. And my husband who has been massively patient with all this Tech Sisters stuff. Yeah, always my nights are always spent doing this and alhamdulillah, I am so grateful for his support. With Tech Sisters specifically, but in my career in general, from transitioning from being a stay at home housewife to working like this and alhamdulillah I'm very, very grateful for him. He's also in tech. So, this is kind of one of those things that alhamdulillah is just really nice.

Ali: Power couple.

Grace: Yeah. The kids don't have a chance. This is their future.

Alhamdulillah, and then of course I'm always, always grateful to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, for giving me the guidance in the first place. And for bringing me here. And for just giving me so many opportunities and then giving me the ability to take advantage of them. Um, this conversation that we're having and everything that we, we have it, wouldn't be possible without Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

Um, always, always grateful. Alhamdulillah.

Ali: Ameen. Especially to the bit about our spouses, who, without them, we would have gone insane long ago.

Grace: Infinite cups of tea and solace on that one.

Ali: So I think we'll, we'll close out with a du'a and then be on our way.

Bismillahi r-Raḥmāni r-Raḥīm. Alḥamdulillāhi r-Rabbi l-'ālamīn, ar-Raḥmāni r-Raḥim. Wa ṣ-ṣalātu wa s-salāmu 'ala sayyiduna Muḥammad wa 'ala ālihi wa s-Sahbihi ajma'īn.

Praise be to Allah to Whom we can never do justice with our praise and his peace and salutations on our prophet Muhammad, ṣallāllāhu 'alayhi wa s-sallam. And his beloved family and companions. Ya ar-Rashīd, ya al-Hādi. Oh the One Who guides _to_ the path and the One Who guides along the path, guide us towards intentions that are pure and works that please You. Ya al-Qadir, ya al-Matīn. Oh the Most Capable, the Steadfast, increase our capacities to do more and greater works and keep us steadfast in our endeavors. Ya al-Karīm, ya ar-Rāfi'. Oh, the most generous, the elevator of ranks, accept our good works and put barakah in all of our endeavors and let it become a means of expiation and elevation for us in the world beyond this one. Ya al-Ghafūr, ya al-'Afuww. Oh the Oft-Forgiving, oh the Effacer of Sins, forgive us and efface our shortcomings and mistakes. Ya Allah, please make things easier for Grace's sister. For the rough experience she has had with the baby. Grant them a blessed time together insha'Allah. A beautiful parental experience, make it easier and make the baby be surrounded by love, insha'Allah which no doubt she will be.